Would having to clear my sight of vision from moisture every other second be considered crying?

Tomorrow is a most significant day to be marked in my life. On the 13th of November, I will end my life as a school student, let alone leaving high school. The feeling of sadness and happiness are running through me like a wild bushfire, spreading into tip of my body sending chills and goose bumps all around me.

I woke up today firstly thinking about the fact that I have one more night left in this bed, in this boarding house, in this school ever in my life. Three years ago, when I first came, the thought of just reaching year 12 and being a senior at this place would only be a distant predicament.

Two more exams. One day left.

Is the grass really greener on the other side?

Today I also realised more than could’ve ever thought I could achieve. Mixed emotions run through me as I sit here thinking about the dos and don’ts I have done over the years.

I remember a faint memory of feeling like this 6 years ago when I left primary school. More clearly, I remember feeling like this 3 years ago when I left Malaysia. Now, déjà vu has hit me all over again, and I’m feeling just as nostalgic, just as melancholic as when I felt back than.

Maybe more…

I know that I will be missing this place. I know that I will grow out of this phase. I know that I will forget a lot of things in the distant future.

I know all this as a fact.

So just for memory, I’d do what almost everyone else would do and get everybody to sign a book or t-shirt that I would cherish for the rest of my life.

Whether they’d want to put a message along with it, which would be up to them.

So, I got the year 12s of 2006 in my boarding house to sign my little booklet

and the rest of the school to sign my shirt.

And as I sat here reading every single one of these messages today, I realised something.

I thought the thing that impacted me the most about being here was being in Cuthy – my boarding house, the roles I’ve been given and the responsibilities I’ve had.

But no – the most significant thing about being here was literally just being here.

What made me appreciate my life here in school was not the school, but the people I’ve met.

Once I leave this school, I won’t remember the ‘most popular’ person in this school, I won’t remember the ‘prettiest’ girl, and I won’t remember the ‘losers’ either.

What I would remember are the people who have sacrificed their time and effort to getting to know me; and me getting to know them. The people who I’ve shared countless laughters, endless conversations, everlasting smiles, and even the unbreakable silences spent together.

Mixed emotions are running through me at the moment, more heavily weighted on the sorrowful side.

I wish I could bring everything I have now side by side with me to my future.

I wish I things would be the same.

I do not have the words or the capability to say what I truly yearn to say, let alone to word it out on my blog.

I hope this last two words sum up everything and anything that has truly moved me.

Thank you.